normality a myth

19 April 2012

Some things I never thought I’d be doing when I came here:

• Pick through my muesli to separate the mouse turds from the raisins.
• Try to make Fissan paste from mealiemeal, margerine and salt.
• Arrange curses and swearwords so they rhyme.
• Talk about the weather to a lizard with a blue tail.
• Fire-strip yellow fungus to get to the bread underneath.
• See a highly pregnant woman push a plough at 4.30 a.m.
• Drain muddy water from the headlights of a vehicle.
• Fry brinjals on the blade of a machete.
• Use four languages in the same sentence.
• Cybertrack the path of a cyclone.
• Take a picture of a giraffe’s dick.